a little perspective

I recently ran a soup kitchen service project for college students. The way this particular soup kitchen is set up, the volunteers bring the food they will cook and serve. Which means, of course, that Kristen goes grocery shopping for 300 people the day before. Prior to this thrilling trip, the woman in charge of the soup kitchen gives me an EXACT list of what to buy - quantities, size of packaging, store I must go to, and all. Because I'm buying in bulk, she makes me go to Sam's Club.

Stop there. Kristen does NOT shop at Wal Mart or any other establishment owned by that family. You know who they are. If you don't know or cannot figure out why, I'm afraid to say that you may not know me as well as you think (read as: I'm pretty predictable). Suffice it to say that I cannot support a business that does not treat its employees fairly, discriminates based on gender, has substandard environmental protection practices, supports sweatshop and child labor in order to offer products for the cheapest possible prices, and is, at the end of the day, horrible for the American economy, especially small, local businesses. If you want to know more, go to www.walmartwatch.com or watch PBS's "The High Cost of Low Prices" documentary. I don't CARE that they sell things more cheaply than anyone else. Someone pays for that and I care about them more than I care about a few extra dollars in my wallet! Don't mistake this for a disregard for Americans that HAVE to shop there because of the low prices and their genuine inability to earn a living wage and shop where they want in the richest country in the world. This inequity is all tied together and I could tangentially rant about that issue, but I'll save that for a later post.

Anyway, back to the soup kitchen shopping trip. As you can imagine, there was a fierce battle occuring within me as I put this Sam's shopping trip off as long as possible. Given that soup kitchen lady did not give me this ultra-specific grocery list very far in advance, I had no other choice but to cooperate with her request to go to said dreaded store. In fact, our college even has a membership there, so I couldn't even choose another one of the slightly less evil bulk-selling stores. (Don't even get me started on the fact that our Catholic "mission-based" school has a membership to this place.)

How do I reconcile going to this place for a soup kitchen, which HELPS people, when I know that ultimately I am HURTING other people in the process?

Well, I am quite ashamed to say that I just did that thing when one knows she is doing something wrong, feels extreme guilt, but does it anyway because of seeming lack of any other feasible option. The worst part was the burning feeling that there HAD to be another option and that I was just taking the easy way out because I had a busy day at work and didn't have time to be more thoughtful and considerate. I'm serious - this thing really tore me up. Maybe I'm crazy, but this story is not an exaggeration.

I won't go into too much detail about the trip, except to say that I tried not to make eye contact with anyone and, despite the fact that my shopping cart was about the size of the SUVs that filled the parking lot outside, it was still stacked higher than I could see over the top of (I know, doesn't take much) and heavier than I could steer by the time I got to the cash register. Not only was I supporting this store, but I was buying a LOT from them at once. The trip ended, appropriately, by me faking my identity and pretending to be someone I'm not (our secretary is the person from our department with the Sam's Club membership card; did you think I would have my name on it?!). (Random sidenote: what's up, by the way, with the fact that you need membership cards to these places? It's like some kind of cult.)

I got home later that evening and had to admit my sin to my husband. He boycotts the Walton family empire as well (I did marry the man). I struggled with how to tell him, but finally managed a barely audible whisper: "I committed a near crime today." Had to repeat it a few times before he actually heard me, then, of course, had to tell him what I did.

His response (after the obligatory "you did WHAT?"): "why didn't you just order the food from your food service on campus?" My worst nightmare - an alternative to my wrongdoing that I didn't choose. In fact, I didn't even think of it. Though truthfully I didn't actually have enough time to do this, but this didn't assuage the guilt at all.

Still feeling guilty, fastforward to the soup kitchen.

Soup kitchen lady, in a random conversation, offers the following enraging comment: "I won't shop at BJ's because they won't call them Christmas trees. They say holiday trees instead. So I'll only shop at Sam's Club."

AAAAAAAAHHHH! Do you think Jesus would really care what we call the trees?! Or that we find the strange need to kill them and put them in our living rooms every year in his "honor?" I happen to think that he would care more about the PEOPLE being harmed in order to offer us lower prices. What a novel idea.

Perspective so often evades us in this developed, consumerist world.