thoughts on wrestling and other such banned activities

Ken and I were having dinner with friends (two other couples) last night and one of the husbands was discussing his high school son's wrestling team with the other husband, whose son had also wrestled when he was in high school. (Yes, we were hanging out with people much older than us - we're cool like that.) Because we didn't have a whole lot to contribute to the topic at hand, we had our own little side conversation. It went a little like this (in quiet tones):

me: "Our child is NOT wrestling." [Ken laughs.] "In fact, we're just not having boys. They're too physical and it makes me nervous."

Ken: "Well, I don't want to have girls."

me: "Why not? Girls are so much less violent."

Ken: "I guess we can have girls if I can put ankle bracelets on them."

me: "Let's just come up with a list of sports our kids can play."

We then proceeded to brainstorm a list that included tennis, golf, baseball, volleyball, dance, and other such non-violent sports and activities. Cheerleading, however, is one of the non-violent no-nos. My favorite allowable activity is community service (no surprise). For some reason I'm much more ok with my (to date non-existent) children being in the inner-city or third world than I am with them playing football.

I'm still on the fence about ice hockey. I have fond memories of cheering for the Bruins with my dad as a child, but I really don't want my kid in dentures by the time s/he is 16.

I also have a problem with sports that aren't offered for both genders. Notable examples again include football and wrestling. The former is especially undesirable because it also condones the objectification of women (also known as cheerleading). Ugggh. What ever happened to equal opportunity?

Now that I think of it, toy guns/weapons and video games are also on the list of banned activities.

I know, I know, this is all very easy to say pre-kids. The challenge will come when that little girl in the ankle bracelet wants to put on makeup at age 6 or when our pacifistic son notices that all his friends own Nintendo 3000 or whatever the newest mind-numbing version happens to be.

At least they'll have a chance at growing up to appreciate independent thought, creative expression, and service to others. I hope.

a little girl from santo domingo

I'm still processing my trip to the Dominican Republic. It's hard to sort out the reactions to a people burdened by such poverty yet filled with such generosity. It's overwhelming trying to write about all that I felt and experienced. And it's impossible to put into words the genuine, unquestioning love we were shown.

For now I'm reflecting on the relationships I formed, the connections I made, and the people who touched me so deeply. Although there are many people I wished I could take home with me, closest to my heart is Lisbet, a little girl with a serious face and a persistent hug that replaced the words we didn't speak because of our language barrier. I am left wondering so much about her life - past, present, and future. I didn't get to see her house, but if it's anything like those I did see, I am in awe at her good nature despite the hand she's been dealt.

I've found myself missing Lisbet the past few days, especially after the long, tight hug she gave me before I left her behind in her barrio. She, like the rest of the children we met, yearned for the love and attention that her parents struggled to give because of their hard lives in a poor country. She, like the rest of them, had so much love to give, and gave it unconditionally.

The words I heard in her hug asked me not to go, but I had to. They asked me to return, and I hope I will. But for now, while I fight the guilt, she'll be in my heart.

worst blogger ever

Yup. That's me. I had no idea it had been a month since I last updated this! Time sure does fly.

Anyway, I'll jump on that January bandwagon and resolve to get better with this blog thing, though that won't happen for real (if at all) until after the 13th. You see, I'm leaving tomorrow for the Dominican Republic and won't be back until next Saturday. And by tomorrow I mean 3.00 in the morning, from work. Work is an hour from home, so this means I don't go home from work tonight. I will attempt to sleep in one of two places - either the couch in our office area or a room in the convent on campus. Hmmm... big decision. Haven't made it yet. Won't get enough sleep for it to really matter anyway.

So wish me luck! I'm spending the next week in a foreign country with 12 other people from work - college students, nuns, other employees. Anything could happen! We'll be working in a school with young kids, helping to repair the roof on a home that leaks when it rains (occupied by a young brother and sister who recently lost their parents), playing lots of baseball (it is the Dominican, after all - home of Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz - I brought my Red Sox shirt for good measure), going to the beach for a day, touring the area, hanging out with Spanish-speaking nuns... You know, the usual :-)

Here's hoping the anti-malarials I'm taking don't make me too sick and the Hep A vaccine I got two days ago kicks in before the predicted two week mark!

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(I'll miss you, K.)